“Drive faster!” shouted Kevin.
“I’m already going ten over the limit,” replied Alex as he accelerated down an empty stretch of highway in a black Mercedes sedan. “You in a hurry Kev?”
“No, it’s only the day before Christmas and my flight leaves Dulles in three hours, nope no hurry.”
“Kevin’s right, drive faster Alex,” replied Natalie, “I want to get home too.”
“Alright, but if we get pulled over you guys are taking the blame.”
“Oh great, it’s starting to snow,” announced Alex.
“You want me to drive, Alex?” ask Kevin.
“No way, you’ll get us all killed!”
“I’m bored,” explained Kevin.
“Well than update your Facebook or text someone and tell them that you’re gonna be late for Christmas because Alex is driving so slow!” Replied Natalie.
“I heard that,” shouted Alex.
“I wasn’t trying not to be heard.”
“Crap!” shouted Kevin, “I have no bars.”
“Neither do I,” replied Natalie.
“What about you McKill Joy?” Asked Kevin.
“Nope.”
“Since we have no way of calling someone when the car dies, can we please drive faster so we can get out of here!” Shouted Kevin.
“As intriguing as that sounds, am gonna have to pass,” replied Alex.
“Why?”
“So we don’t slip on a patch of ice and die!”
“The likely hood of that actually happening is…” started Kevin.
“Watch the road!” Natalie shouted, but it was too late; the sedan run over a patch of ice and rolled down a hill into a deep bank if snow.
“Agh”
“Ouch”
“Everyone okay?” Asked Natalie.
“Yup”
“What about you Alex?”
“Yea, I’m fine.”
“I should’ve been driving,” said Kevin.
“ If you were driving we would be stranded in the middle of nowhere,” explained Alex.
“Look who’s calling the pot black,” replied Kevin.
“News flash Alex, we are stranded in the middle of nowhere,” said Natalie, “anybody have any bars?”
“Nope.”
“Still, none.”
“Great, we’re stuck in the middle of nowhere with no way of contacting anyone on Christmas Eve,” shouted Kevin, “could this day get any worse?”
“We could be dead Kev,” replied Natalie.
“Good point.”
“Why don’t you two go up by the road and try to flag someone down,” Kevin explained, “I’ll go walk around and try to get a signal.”
“Why should we go stand by the road, why can’t you,” questioned Alex, “You might rip your designer jeans on something?”
“Hahaha, very funny,” replied Kevin, “I’m stronger, senior, and more superior, now go.”
“Come on Alex,” said Natalie, “There’s no use in arguing, we’re in this for better or for worse.”
John- I really liked how you ended your story. It really keeps the reader thinking about what might happen next. Also I liked the dialog of the charecters.
ReplyDeleteNice job on the story but the only thing that I didn't like was the ending I think that there should of been more story at the end. But the story was goood nice job. =)
ReplyDeleteI did like it but I aggree with Tanner it should have had more on it. But as far as your word choice I liked it. The story was pretty good.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tanner and Ariana. The story was good and I liked the plot-line. Good job John. :)
ReplyDeleteAuthentic dialogue use, which is difficult to accomplish. I could actually picture your characters in the car even without descriptions. You will appreciate Hemingway's minimalist style.
ReplyDeleteI really like how you stopped at a certain point making me want to read more. I liked the dialogue also! Very good job...
ReplyDeleteBBABUINATOR(Bijoy) SAID- Good job John, I liked the ending a lot...It was very discriptive and realistc, just like real teenagers on Christmas Eve. Overall, great job, keep up the good work
ReplyDeleteIt was funny too.